This time of year can feel strangely heavy. The energy of “fresh starts” has faded, yet the promise of spring hasn’t fully arrived. For many adults who grew up silencing themselves, this in-between season mirrors something deeper — a long-standing habit of waiting, holding back, and not taking up space.
If you learned early on to stay quiet, not rock the boat, or put others first, you may still find yourself pausing your own needs. Not because you don’t know what you want — but because it never felt safe to want out loud.
Change, for people with childhood trauma, rarely arrives as a bold declaration. More often, it begins quietly.
The Habit of Holding Back
Many of my clients grew up in families or cultures where children — especially girls — were expected to be compliant, grateful, and unseen. Using your voice might have led to criticism, withdrawal, or shame. So you learned to adapt.
That adaptation worked. It helped you survive.
But decades later, it can look like:
- hesitating before speaking
- minimising your needs
- carrying responsibility that isn’t yours
- feeling unsure who you are beneath what others expect
This isn’t a flaw. It’s a learned response.
Why This Season Can Stir Something
Late winter often brings restlessness. You may feel tired of carrying things quietly, yet unsure how to let go. There can be a gentle ache — not dramatic, but persistent — that something needs to shift.
This is often when people begin therapy. Not in crisis, but in honesty.
Change Doesn’t Have to Be Loud
Healing doesn’t require confrontation or reinvention. For many adults, it begins with:
- noticing your body soften when you say no
- allowing yourself to rest without justification
- naming a truth privately before sharing it
- feeling your own presence more fully
These are not small things. They are profound.
Therapy as a Gentle Thaw
Therapy can be an accepting space where nothing needs to be proven. A place to explore who you are beneath old rules and expectations. To move at a pace that honours how long you’ve been holding things in.
Just as winter gives way gradually, so does healing.
If this season feels quiet but heavy, you’re not behind. You may simply be at the beginning of a softer kind of change — one that starts with listening to yourself.
And that is more than enough.